For partners
How do I support a partner with PMS?
Ask how they’re doing, believe the answer, and take on more of the load if they’re tired. Some people get PMS in the days before a period and others notice little or nothing, and it changes from month to month. Don’t blame a bad mood on their period: it might be stress, sleep, or something you did.
What is PMS like for a partner?
Some people get PMS in the weeks before a period: tiredness, bloating, headaches, feeling low or irritable. Others notice little or nothing, and it changes from month to month.
A review of 47 studies found no clear premenstrual mood pattern across people in general. So don’t assume a bad mood is “that time of the month”. It might be stress, sleep, or something you did.
What helps?
- Ask how they’re doing, and believe the answer.
- Take on more of the load if they’re tired.
- Food and sleep matter: regular meals and early nights are part of what the NHS suggests for PMS.
- Don’t say “is it your period?” in an argument. Ever.
What if it is PMDD?
A small number of people get a severe form called PMDD, with intense anxiety, anger or low mood. It’s treatable. If they ever mention feeling suicidal, help them get support straight away: an emergency number or a support line, listed under Support lines in Seventh.
Frequently asked questions
Is mood really linked to the menstrual cycle?
A review of 47 studies found no clear premenstrual mood pattern across people in general. So don’t assume a bad mood is that time of the month.
What should I never say?
Don’t say “is it your period?” in an argument. Ever.
What if they say they feel suicidal?
Help them get support straight away: an emergency number or a support line. Support lines are listed in Seventh.
Sources
Seventh is a free period and cycle tracker for iPhone and iPad, by doogud. This article is general information, not medical advice. If something feels wrong, see a doctor.
